Stupid Drunks

• I don't know who's dumber, the drunk or the porter.
• Drunk Teacher Passes Out
• Drunk Capt Shoots Sergeant
• Soldier gets hit in the head with a flaming ball of toilet paper.
• Drunk Naked Royal Marines Caught on Tape.
• Drunk Uses Baby as a pillow

Drunk Celebrities

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Anna Nicole Smith - Sued for being scantily clad (gasp) and drunk (double gasp). If you book Anna you should expect this. It's like booking a monkey and getting mad because it throws poop at you. It can't help it. It's just what monkeys do.

"Lost" Girls - They were both nabbed for DUI. Don't forget to look at the mug shots.

Lego Man - He's scuh a lush.

Bartender serves up an elevator shaft in a martini glass

We've all had to deal with that pain in the ass woman that comes in and says "Make me something different". Well, after she drinks these two drinks she'll be too sedate to be much of a pain in the ass.

Bartender serves up an elevator shaft in a martini glass

Stupid Drunk

• Drunk on tracks unscathed by subway train - This guy passed out drunk, fell onto the tracks and lived to tell about it.
• Drunk Thief Leaves His Wallet Behind - Is it me or are thieves just getting dumber? It seems that you hear of something like this every few months.
• Victim Escapes From Drunk Kidnappers - Seeing stories about how stupid booze can make you almost makes me want to quit drinking.....Almost.

This guy does the dirtiest and funniest magic trick I've ever seen

There are bartenders who do magic tricks (me) and Bar Magicians that do magic at bars (Eric Mead, Doc Eason, Bob Sheets etc.) Here's an article that recently came out about Eric Mead. If you like dirty jokes too don't forget to check out his appearance in "The Aristocrats". It's one of the dirtiest, and funniest magic tricks I've ever seen. You can also check out our interview with Doc Eason here.

"I'll bet you $50 that I can lick my right eye."

(It's an oldie, but a goodie.)
There was this guy who went into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, are you a bettin' man?"
The bartender replied, "Certainly! I'm ALWAYS a bettin' man!" To which the man said, "I'll bet you $50 that I can lick my right eye."
The bartender thought about this a while and finally agreed to the bet. The man reached up and pulled out his glass right eye and licked it. The bartender groaned and begrudgingly gave the man his $50 telling him to leave his bar.
A week or so later, the same man appeared in the bar. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, are you still a bettin' man?" The bartender replied, "Certainly! I told you I'm ALWAYS a bettin' man!" To which the man said, "I'll bet you $100 that I can bite my left eye."
Well, the bartender thought he had him on this one! There was no way that he had TWO glass eyes so the bartender agreed. The man reached up to his mouth, pulled out his dentures and clicked them on his left eye. The bartender moaned and paid the man his $100 telling him to get out of his bar.
A week or so later, the same man ventured into the bar again. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, are you still a bettin' man?" The bartender said, although with a little caution this time, "Certainly! I told you I'm ALWAYS a bettin' man!" To which the man said, "Give me a shot of whiskey." The bartender poured the man a shot and he drank it down. Slamming the glass on the bar he said, "I'll bet you $500 that you can spin me around on this bar stool and I can piss in that glass right where it lays and not miss a drop."
Well, the bartender's eyes lit up. Here was one time that he was certain that he would win! "Agreed!" he cried. Coming out from around the bar, he grabbed onto the man's bar stool and spun it as hard as he could.
Well, the man just let loose and piss flew EVERYPLACE! Not so much as one drop even came close to the glass and the bartender was soaked. When he was done, the bartender was laughing and laughing and holding out his hand. The man pulled out his wallet and gave him his $500. But the bartender was puzzled and as he was wiping off his face, he asked the man, "Why did you bet me $500 that you could piss in that shot glass on the bar when you had to have known there wasn't any possible way to do it??"
The man just smiled and told him, "You may have won $500 off me but I bet that guy over in the corner $10,000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would just laugh!"