MAN ORDERED TO STAY DRUNK

According to the U.K.'s Sun Newspaper, Steve Winstone was ordered to stay drunk. The Sun reports that a poorly worded antisocial behavior order banned Winstone from NOT being drunk in public. When he was picked up later for threatening words and behavior he couldn't be charged with disobeying the court order. He was fined and released. Read the full article here. I'd love to get a copy of that court order. That's a good piece to frame. Hey Steve, if you read this, put it on eBay.

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DRUNK WITHOUT A DROP OF LIQUID

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I wish I could get drunk but I'm trying to watch my weight". Maybe you don't like to taste Alcohol. Perhaps you're just bored with actually drinking. What if I told you that you could get drunk and never take a drop of alcohol. Well now you can with AWOL or alcohol without liquid. No, it's not an April fools joke. With this new machine you can inhale your booze. It vaporizes the spirit of your choice and you breath it in. Your local pub may start to look more like your local old folks home. Picture it, a room full of tubes and machinery whirring a steady supply of vapors to a bunch of people who aren't quite with it. McDougall's Pub may change it's name to Shady Acres in order to attract more fume loving vapor suckers to the bar.

All kidding aside I am curious about it. I would try it once but I actually enjoy the taste of beer and the whole experience that comes with it. I don't want to be tethered to a machine the entire night just to get a buzz. I like to mingle and converse. I can't imagine dancing with one of these vaporizers attached to my waste. It would probably look as sexy as a colostomy bag. If any of you have tried this please let us know about your experience. I'm going to guess that you tried it once and then went back to drinking. I could be wrong, this could be the next big trend with Hookabooze bars popping up in every city, and maybe Louis Vuitton will come out with a stylish new colostomy bag.

Read the company’s press release here.

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HELD HOSTAGE BY DRUNK DECORATORS

According to an article in Ham & High 24, Dr Anthony Zybutz, 35 a dentist, was held hostage in his own home by two drunk decorators. When asked about the incident He said: "One tried to hit me. They were huge, drunk men and I wouldn't want to get into a fight with them." That's right, he said he didn't want to get into a fist fight with two decorators. I guess the U.K.'s decorators are a lot tougher than the ours. I wonder if this guy flinches at the florists. Read the full article here.

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STEALING FROM THE BAR

According to an article in "The Electric Newpaper", over $30 million dollars a year is stolen by bar staff. It may not seem like much when you take into consideration that the bar industry takes in about $3 billion a year but some bar staff have been able to keep themselves pretty happy with these dishonest techniques. Some of the techniques discussed in this article include;

• One for you one for me. - a customer orders two drinks but the bartender rings in one and pockets the money for the other.
• Groundhog bill - reusing the same bill over and over and pocketing the cash. For instance, a customer pays their bill and you ring it in normally. That bill is now recorded as paid. The server keeps the bill and hands it to their next customer who would have a similar charge and keeps the cash.
• Short pouring - The owner expects to get a certain amount of drinks out of a bottle or keg. If the bartender short pours he is able to get more than the expected number of drinks and pockets the money made from the extra ones.
• BYOB - The bartender brings in his own bottle of booze and keeps the cash from any drinks he makes with it.

There are hundreds of other ways to steal from the bar. I know, I've seen them, but why would you risk it? If you're a good bartender/server you probably make good money in tips anyway. Don't get greedy. Some people say "My boss cheats me out of money so it's only fair that I recoupe my money". Bullshit, if you think you're boss is stealing from you or is other wise dishonest, leave. If you choose to stay there then you choose to be cheated. On the same note, if you're a bar owner/manager and you treat your employees like shit, expect to be cheated you bastard.

Do you know of any other ways to cheat the bar? Have you seen some dishonest coworkers in action? Are you the pilfering thief? Let us know by clicking the comment button below and putting your two cents in.

Two new tricks added today.

Added two more tricks today. That make four for the weekend.