NEW BAR TRICK ADDED 3/11/05 AND 3/12/05

Just added another cigarette trick to the site today. Click here to see it.

HANK LEE'S TREASURE HUNT

As I've mentioned before, Hank Lee's is where I get all my bar trick supplies. Their customer service is outstanding and their products are even better. I'm sure many of you know how an affiliate program works, but for those of you who don't I'll try to explain a little. If Mr. Lee sells any items because someone visited his site by clicking the banner on my site, I get a commission. It's a small commission, (very small) but that commission helps keep the site running. Now that I've shared that dirty little secret with you, I'd like to share part of the most recent email I received from Hank Lee's Magic Factory.

"I have a great new promotion for this week. And, you are going to love it. It's kind of a treasure hunt and a sales event all rolled into one. I have gone through our vast catalog and hand-picked 100 items that we are offering at a gigantic 40% savings! There are some really great items in the list. In all categories. Here's the way the sale works. Put together your order. Then, enter the special code, SECRETHANKIE, in the Discount Coupon Box. If you have found any of the secret items, a full 40% will be deducted from the price of that item. So, you get to check out lots of items in our Online Catalog (by clicking the banner below) and you have the chance to save a big 40%! The Treasure Hunt ends Monday at midnight. Good luck. This week, we will also be giving a free magical gift to the first 25 folks who place orders, starting as soon as you get this email!"

So go to the Hank Lee's Magic Factory site by clicking the banner below and start hunting.

NEW BAR TRICK ADDED TODAY!

Today's trick will teach you how to remove pepper from a pile of salt without ever touching it. Come back tomorrow to see another cool bar trick.

HOW TO SURVIVE THE BAR SCENE

I realize that most of us don't need a guide on how to survive the bar scene but for those of us who wouldn't mind a few pointers, here's a list to help make it safely through the gauntlet of drunken fools and bad pick up lines. I tried the "I'm pregnant" excuse in order to discourage the unwanted attention but, needless to say, it didn't work. I guess guys should say I have the clap instead. That should turn the trolls away. If not you're on your own pal. I had a friend who used to pick her nose in front of the guy if they wouldn't leave her alone. Even that didn't deter some of them. Let us know if you have any creative ways to deflect unwanted suitors. Just click on the comments link below.

MAN PEES HIS WAY TO FREEDOM

This article comes to us via http://www.theregister.co.uk. Beer has so many great uses.

Man urinates his way out of avalanche
By Lester Haines
Published Monday 31st January 2005 12:21 GMT

We are delighted to report that a Slovak man trapped in his car by an avalanche urinated his way to freedom after working his way through 60 half-litre bottles of beer.
According to Ananova, Richard Kral was off on holiday when the snow swallowed his Audi in the Tatra mountains. Initially, he tried to dig his way out via the car's window, but soon realised that the snow would fill the vehicle long before he could break free.

Mercifully, he had stocked up on essential supplies of alcohol and quickly formulated a cunning plan: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."
Rescuers eventually found Kral staggering drunk on a mountain path four days after his ordeal began. ®
(Remember, this article is the property of http://www.theregister.co.uk so check out their great site.)

A POEM ABOUT GETTING DRUNK

I'm not the type that likes to get rip roaring drunk. Yeah, I like to share some drinks with friends but I've grown out of the "three sheets to the wind" stage of my life. I've been there, I've done that, I remember some of it. Now just because I don't get drunk anymore doesn't mean I think other people shouldn't. I've learned valuable lessons by getting drunk. (don't pass out in Tijuana) Some of my favorite authors and poets were drunks. (Earnest Hemingway, Charles Bukowski etc.) But most importantly if it weren't for drunks I would have nothing to add to this blog. I can't help it, I love drunks. So here's a poem to celebrate all the drunks out there.

Get Drunk

Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
Get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

-Charles Baudelaire

P.S. I don't wan't to preach but PLEASE never drink and drive. Drunks are funny shit but there's nothing funny about putting your life or the life of others in danger. If you don't care about yourself, at least think of the 2 year-old little girl who you might kill. I love drunks but I HATE drunk drivers! If I ever see a drunk getting ready to drive, he'd better be ready for 200 pounds of US-Marine to crash into his face.

MORE CREATIVE WAYS TO GET DRUNK...STUPID, BUT CREATIVE

I don't understand why people do this to themselves. If you want a drink that bad go to a bar.